July 2018 marks the 10-year anniversary of this blog. I well remember the conversations in 2008 with my friend John Harper, who suggested I start a blog to become the go-to person for ecopsychology. I had just finished my master’s in this subject, and he was encouraging me to share insights about the interdependence and connection between humans and nature. We evolved in nature–part of, not separate from–and when we lose this connection, we get crazy. With over 50% of the world’s populations living in cities now, we are losing our connection to the natural rhythms and cycles of life. I felt passionate about helping people reconnect to wild nature and our inner nature.
I was living at Monkey Valley at the time, and started the blog with a few stories of things that happened on the land, like the entry “An August day at Monkey Valley,” as well as the entry below that, “Wild Women Run”–a landmark moment in my life when I stepped outside of my boundaries to expand into my bigger potential.
During the past 10 years a lot has changed in my life (and a lot is still the same). The most obvious change is that I live in the wilds of the West Village of New York now, not the BC wilderness. During the past 10 years this blog has ranged over many subjects as my interests and experiences have unfolded. I found it wasn’t in my nature to keep the focus on one topic (ecopsychology) and be the go-to person for that subject.
Topics have ranged to cougars, pedicures, yoga, running, spirituality, photography, New York City, David Bowie, and much more. One pretty constant thread has been running, which has been my passion and sanity go-to for over 20 years. When I ran the NY Marathon in 2016, in honor of David Bowie, I pushed myself to finish it and vowed I was willing to pay the price. That price is that I’m currently on hiatus from running, while I heal my neck and knee injuries. This has led to a healing journey with other great gifts and no regrets. But I’m a little sad to say that the wild woman doesn’t run much these days. Instead, though, I attend the most kick-ass Barre 3 classes on the planet!
Never stop exercising! I say this to anyone who might be reading this blog today–keep your brain and heart healthy by exercising 6 days a week, for at least an hour a day. Just do it! This is the single most important thing you can do to love yourself and live a happy life.
So, lecture over, I invite you to enjoy these two retro articles from the first year of this blog.
An August day at Monkey Valley
The morning walk
I started the day with a walk up to the top gate at the north corner of Monkey Valley. It takes about 15 minutes to walk up there from the house. The driveway goes past the spot where a faster pitched her tarp a few weeks ago, and just as I meandered by this stretch of dirt road, cup of tea and cell phone in hand, I startled a deer who quickened her pace up the hillside. I wondered if it was the same deer the faster saw, and felt her spirit on the land. As I followed the road up the hillside I heard red-tailed hawk calling out his raspy high-pitched song, and saw him high on a dead tree’s branch. I called back, and we spoke back and forth a few times until he grew tired of the game and flew away to a further tree.
The digital valley
I was walking up to the top gate to get a really strong cell-phone reception for the 7:45 am meeting I call into every morning. Since Telus switched from analog to digital cell signals, the signal doesn’t bounce as far and I don’t get consistent reception down in the valley where the house is. It makes for a more peaceful time here, not having a phone ringing throughout the day. But it also makes me feel like nobody wants me! Anyway, these work meetings give me a great reason to get out early in the morning to see what creatures are wandering around.
Lizard woman
After the phone call I had breakfast on the porch overlooking the creek, with wild raspberries from the bushes growing around the house. Lunch on the porch too, watching birds in the willow bushes, and wondering who was scurrying around under the porch. Chipmunk, it turns out. Afternoon coffee on the top balcony outside the master bedroom, for a view of the reddening woods. The temperature was 41° C this afternoon (106° F)! Beautiful hot summer heat. I took a break to lay in the sun for about half an hour, and felt held, uplifted, and nourished by the land and sun. There’s a good reason my brother-in-law, Geoff, gave me the nickname Lizard Woman!
Wild women run
On a vision fast last year I claimed my big, wild woman self.
But desert ritual is just the beginning of integrating a new identity that goes counter to the training to be my parents’ obedient, pretty girl, smiling for the camera. And counter to our society’s messages about what women are supposed to be: compassionate, loving, quiet, small. There isn’t much room for wild women. But luckily, we have the strength and power to make room. To stand up, speak out. Anyway, I am still learning to let my wild woman run free.
I was at a half marathon on Sunday, and she ran with me. She shouted out “Woohoo, 10K!” at the half-way mark. And I heard a woman behind me tell her female friend “She’s got way too much energy.”
I know suppressive bullshit when I hear it, and this comment made me mad. Mad enough to beat my previous time by 8 minutes. Mad enough to run harder than I’ve ever run. Which is one way to use that energy.
But is this what a wild woman would do?
My wild woman shouted Replacements song lyrics when they popped into her head. At first, when these lyrics arose, she kept it to herself. But after the 10K mark, she’d had enough of suppressing her fun life energy. She shouted out “Take me down, to the hospital!” at the medics in the ambulance at the side of the road. And “Red light, red light, run it. Ain’t nobody watching, run it!”
And each time she broke the rules, stood out from the crowd, let herself express what was moving through her, a new surge of energy propelled her on. Real strength. Real expansion, right through the top of her head. Right into the quiet simplicity of nothingness.
My exploration into what it means to be a wild woman continues. For the record, she did it in 2:00:28!