north – Karen's New York Love Affair

For the next part of the medicine walk I’ve been writing about, I wanted to do some work in the north part of the wheel, which involves giving our gifts to our people. It can also involve making gifts, doing concrete physical tasks, craftwork, and so on.

I walked farther down the wash, and found a nice big boulder to lean against, which gave me a bit of shade, but not too much. I wrote in my journal about what had happened so far. Then I went down to the place where I had seen the yellow flowers. They were in a flat area nestled among boulders above a drop in elevation, which would be a waterfall when the rains fell in this dry desert place. Possibly a small pool formed here before spilling over, allowing more moisture to remain here, quenching the flowers with the water they needed to grow. I marvelled at this miracle of life in the desert.

I gathered a bouquet of the yellow flowers, adding some pale green leaves that had a band of red and yellow tips on them, and a sprig of a lush reddish plant. I gave Reiki to each plant, thanking them for these gifts of beauty from their bodies. I bound the stems together with a strip of faux red suede and some black thread. It reminded me of the bouquet my buddy had made for me and left at the buddy pile the first time I fasted in the desert. I had carried that bouquet in my car for about a year after the fast.

I thought of leaving this bouquet on the buddy pile for the faster I was buddying from base camp. Then I thought maybe I should give it to my inner man, to woo him and deepen my relationship to him. At this point I still didn’t know who I would give it to. I left it in a safe place by the yellow flowering plant, because it might get wrecked if I put it in my pack.

I came back up to my nice boulder spot and made a ring of gold and purple for my little girl. The first day the fasters went out I had a long meditation in base camp, and the colours purple and gold had infused my soul. I had somehow chosen these colours of beads to bring along on the trip when I had been packing in Vancouver. I also brought the colours of the four directions.

So now I made the ring, contemplating my association of this particular shade of purple, a mauve colour, with mourning. I had experienced it when mourning at Auschwitz about the loss to the world of the gifts and love of all the people who were killed there. I now felt the mourning of the gifts that were lost to the world because my little girl was hurt and it has taken so many years to heal and begin bringing her gifts into the world. The gold was a celebration of her beingness and our connection, which I had experienced when we interacted by the golden cholla cactus—a merging bliss.

As I worked on the ring I acknowledged and honoured the way she HAS brought her gifts into the world, struggling all the while but doing it in spite of the immense obstacles. She shared her love of beading with the world (through writing the book Complete Beading for Beginners), and this earned awards, recognition, and even enough money to buy a car. That’s a helluva accomplishment for a little girl!

Then I made beaded bracelets for Larry and Ruth, using the colours of the four directions—white, yellow, red, and black. I also made one for my buddy, to leave on the buddy pile. I selected purple too, for Ruth’s bracelet, gold for Larry, and green for the faster. I loved the pattern that emerged from the selected colours, and the mathematical element of combining the beads to make the right length of bracelet. When I was finished, I wrapped these gifts in scraps of the faux red suede, with a small stone for each. Then I noticed a beautiful dried flower that seemed to be a kind of daisy. I snipped its stem, using the scissors on my Swiss army knife, and took it down to add to the bouquet.

It felt so satisfying to create gifts of beauty to give to my people. The knowing of how to do it and the tools to use was very north shield. But the creativity involved was east shield. My thoughts turned to the east shield now as I contemplated the ritual I wanted to do for the east part of my day walk.

Winter is coming to an end. We’ve already begun Daylight Savings. The first day of spring is March 20. But there’s still a stinging bite of cold in the air in Vancouver, and we had snow a few days ago, which is still clinging to my back deck. At my sister’s place in Horsefly they still have five feet of snow on the ground!

So let’s celebrate some of the qualities of winter before it slips away. The colour for the winter (north) part of the wheel is white. And the element is air. Both of these make sense in northern climates, where a winter storm can turn the whole world into a mass of white, with no discernible difference between sky and land. It was like this at my new home overlooking the Burrard Inlet during the snow storm a few days ago. The entire inlet was filled with white clouds, totally blocking out the mountains across the way, and even the water of the harbour. Fat white flakes drifted lazily through the air, against the background of white. So it is easy to see the literal meaning of the white and air qualities associated with the north.

But there are deeper meanings to these qualities. In the Sufi teaching of the lataif, which are subtle centres in the body, the white aspect is located in the solar plexus, and is associated with will. Will can take on many flavours, but the essence of it is support. This can feel like the solid support of a snow-capped mountain, or the soft fluffy support of white clouds. When a person is in touch with this aspect of their being, it feels like there is no strain or effort required to sit up straight or stand tall. There is an ease to one’s experience of oneself and events. Connecting to will in a deeper way, one moves from the personal will to a sense of universal will, which can feel like a vast slow movement of air, space, water, or even of being on a vast spaceship travelling through the sky. The association with air is evident at the deepest experience of universal will, and in the more superficial experience of being supported by soft clouds, as if this substance of support is in the air all around one.

I recently moved to a new home that is surrounded by space, with open expanses in all directions, and with a fairly large body of water below. Being in this beautiful place, so close to nature, with seagulls and bald-headed eagles soaring outside my window, I have been feeling a sense of being part of the vast movement of universal will. It has carried me here to this new home. Its movements feel mysterious and purposeful. While the turning of the earth and the wheel feel circular, the movement of the universal will (wheel?) feels bigger to me, bigger than a planet. And the movement seems to be in a straight line, though maybe it is just so vast that there is no discernable turning to it.

The support of universal will manifests as a sense that this vast force is causing all manifestation to occur, so I don’t actually need to do anything but go along for the ride. It is quite a switch from feeling that I have to make everything happen! One small way I have let this affect me is to not “try” to create a parking space by asking the parking gods to have one ready for me at such-and-such location. Instead, I am just trusting that I will find a good spot. This seems like a very small thing, and I guess it is a small shift in my life. But I feel the difference. Instead of trying, and making an effort, I am saving that little bit of energy by trusting in the universe. And this brings a feeling of relaxation into my experience of parking.

The universal will has carried you through the events and passages of your life too, and here to this web site. Since you are here, maybe there’s a reason! I invite you to explore the energy of the north by going to an open place outside that is exposed to the wind. Let the wind blow over you and through you. Let it empty you. Revel in the cold and emptiness. This is a gift of the north.

Tag: north

The medicine walk: bouquets and gifts of the north

The white air of winter