BC vision quest – Karen's New York Love Affair

BC Wilderness Visions – renewal and revisioning

With the possibility of selling Monkey Valley later this year, I have been revisioning the way I will offer vision fasts retreats. I have a retreat planned for August 8 – 14, 2010. If Monkey Valley is no longer mine, the retreat will take place in the wilderness south of the property, near Missezula Lake, in a very sacred place I discovered on a medicine walk long ago.

Part of the revisioning process involves renaming this web site to BC Wilderness Visions. Currently I am running full content under www.klove.nyc and www.klove.nyc. But soon I will be switching to the new site exclusively, with a redirect from the old site. So please bookmark www.klove.nyc and access the site through this new address.

One of the things I’d like to do now that I’m spending more time in Vancouver is to offer some workshops locally, probably in the North Shore mountains, to give people a chance to experience wilderness work closer to home. Stay tuned to this site for details, and please let me know if you have a particular area of ritual, self-generated ceremony, or other nature work that you’d like to explore in a workshop.

The purpose of this web site is to provide information and resources to help you decide whether a vision fast is right for you. Here are some links to great topics on this subject:

What is a wilderness rite of passage? A short article written by one of my guide mentors and Diamond Approach teachers, John Davis.
What kind of quest is right for me? A brief description of group and individual quests. I offer both types at BC Wilderness Visions.

I also blog about stuff that interests me, for my own amusement, hopefully to entertain you(!), and as an opportunity to share my learning with you as life unfolds. This also allows you to get a sense of who I am to decide if you will want to do a vision fast or other wilderness work with me. For the next while, I will be writing a lot about running as I prepare for the Vancouver 2010 marathon. I will also continue to write about the vision fast ceremony, sharing stories of some of the vision fasts I have gone on. Please feel free to comment on the stories or to contact me if you have questions about doing a vision fast.

Mirroring for intention: putting it all together

I’ve been telling you the story of how Ruth and Larry mirrored my intention for my day walk, also known as a medicine walk or contemplative walk. Mirroring for intention is an important part of the vision fast ceremony. This process usually begins months before a participant’s fast, with a statement of intention in the application letter the participant prepares.

Once the guides and participants meet in the place near where the fast will take place, a key part of the preparation in the days preceding the fast is to clarify the participants’ intentions. If there is a group of fasters, they sit in circle together and listen as one by one they tell their stories of why they have come to the desert or mountain to undertake this rite of passage. When there is a solo participant, the guide or guides have the luxury of more time to spend with the faster, helping to clarify what the faster has come to claim.

To help you understand this process, I have been telling the story of a recent trip I took to the California desert. I was apprenticing on the vision fast, and while the fasters were out, the guides and I mirrored each others’ intentions for a solo day walk. I have been delving deeply into the story, so that you can understand the way that this type of work can help a person learn and grow.

Here is a list of the entries I have written about the mirroring process. You might find this helpful to read before turning to the story of the actual medicine walk.

Q: Does a bear poop in the woods?

A: Yes, and so can you!

Okay, you’re probably thinking I’ve totally flipped out, if you didn’t already think this after some of my previous entries about mouse turds, including “The mystery of the dead animal in my living room,” and the moving song “Blue turd on my window sill.”

But the fact is, being close to nature means being close to the full cycle of natural processes, which mostly involve birth, eating, eliminating, reproduction, and death. And when you spend time in nature, the signs of the elimination process are all around. Yesterday, when I was out for a run at Monkey Valley, I came across some magnificent signs of bear elimination. Call me crazy if you want, but I love finding bear scat. I found two piles, and one was a lot larger than the other, which might indicate that two bears of different sizes have been in the vicinity. Or maybe it was the same bear, having a big poop and then a little poop after. I noticed that both piles had undigested rose hips in them, which indicates the furry creature has been attracted to the bright red seed pods, which seem remarkably red and vibrant this year.

But what does this have to do with you, and specifically, with you pooping in the woods? One of the questions people who have never been on a vision fast ask is how to handle this basic biological function. Obviously, when you’re out in the wild on your solo, there won’t be a flush toilet, and not even an outhouse. This means you have the wonderful opportunity to experience what your ancestors did. Poop in the woods! Or in the desert, as the case may be…

We like to practice no-trace camping as part of our honouring of the land during the vision fast. This means packing out your TP, and covering the signs of any biological waste you might be leaving behind. So dig a shallow hole, and when you’re finished your elimination process, cover the hole with leaves and dirt. If there are rocks in the area where you are fasting, you can put a rock over the little pile to mark it, so that you know not to dig in that same spot again.

There is an ancient familiarity about squatting outside to perform this everyday function. The position is actually more comfortable for our body than a toilet, though if you’re out of shape it can be a strain on the quadriceps at first. Women out on a fast will get a lot more practice with this than men, learning to squat and pee too, without peeing on clothing or shoes. That’s a practice you will have a chance to master during your fasting time, especially if you drink the recommended amount of water!

A final note about biological processes for women out on a fast. It often happens that women’s cycles shift when out in nature, and your moon time might come while you are on your fast. We recommend bringing the supplies you’ll need in case this does happen. Pack the used supplies out with you, along with your TP. If you’re in bear country, you might want to keep your used supplies in a plastic bag some distance from your sleeping place, and use water and a bandanna or disposable wipes to keep clean. Or moss, if you’re in the woods.

Having your moon time while on a fast can deepen your connection with the sacred in nature, and help you feel part of the natural cycles of nature. Perhaps you will be inspired to create a ceremony to honour your moon time, bleeding directly onto the earth or making an offering of your blood in a ceremonial way.

Being out on the land during the vision fast, attending to our natural biological processes in ways that are more like the way our ancestors did, connects us to the 120,000+ life times of the human race, and helps us know that we are not alone. While our single life is finite, we are connected to a powerful, enduring life force through our human and pre-human gene pool. This is something that pooping in the woods can teach us.

Drumming for the vision fast

I was interviewed this week on Vancouver’s Co-op Radio (CFRO 102.7 FM) about the vision fast. The interview was for a radio show called Conscious Living. Listen to the interview to find out more about this thing called a vision fast. The interview concludes with a song for calling in the four directions, which I wrote about last time. When you click Log In, you are given a chance to register for the show’s web site. You must do this before you can listen to the MP3, but it only takes a minute or two.

I smudged myself with sage before going downtown to do the interview, and asked the spirits of the seven directions to be with me and help draw those people to the vision fast on July 5 – 11 at Monkey Valley who would most benefit from the ceremony. May it be so!

Why would anyone want to do a think like go without food for three days, alone in the woods, with only a tarp and sleeping bag for shelter? I think it takes a certain kind of person to be interested in this type of adventure, and a certain yearning in the soul. I believe that all humans yearn for connection with nature, because we evolved as a species for tens of thousands of years in the natural world. But nowadays, living in cities, many people do not hear their heart’s call to be out in nature. Or they may misinterpret the call as a yearning for something else, or drown it out with one of the substances so readily available to us for such purposes! So I think the vision fast ceremony appeals specifically to people who already feel their connection to nature, or who are aware of wanting to build or strengthen this connection. After all, there are many paths for gaining spiritual and psychological understanding that do not involve this level of physical discomfort!

Then there is the yearning to know yourself more deeply, to find guidance or healing, or to mark a life passage in a significant way. Perhaps you might feel the urge to test yourself, and gain a sense of confidence or strength from knowing you have passed the test. Certainly this is one of the functions the vision fast has served historically, as a right of passage from adolescence to adulthood. Since many of us never experienced or marked this passage into adulthood as a teenager, for some adults this might feel like an incompleteness that the vision fast ceremony can remedy.

When it comes to finding guidance, healing, inspiration, and self-knowledge in nature, the process is very mysterious. Time alone on the land opens us up. It makes our ego shell more permeable, usually in a safe and gentle way. It deepens our senses and our awareness, opening us to knowing and interacting with the natural world in a different way than we might experience on a weekend hike with friends. Being alone and not having to interact with others is actually a great gift, which allows a portion of our regular unconscious functioning (to maintain a self image, monitor how the other person is feeling, make sure the relationship is okay) to work for a different purpose. All of these factors, and the physiological changes brought about by fasting, can lead us into altered states of consciousness, where information is available to us in a new way.

This type of opening into the unknown is not for everyone. It takes a courage and a curiosity. A willingness to look foolish (or at least, dirty!). It takes a wanting. This is why on the School of Lost Borders vision fast program page they have a statement to warn away those who might be entering into this too lightly: “Or just forget that such a wild idea ever came into your head.” I love that! Enter at your own risk…

Safety and the vision fast

Next vision fast: July 5 – 11, 2009 at Monkey Valley

This week I had the great pleasure of giving a presentation on the vision fast to the Vancouver chapter of the Society for Technical Communication. Our March STC program was a Pecha Kucha event, in which speakers each discuss 20 slides for 20 seconds, making the presentations a short and informative 6 minutes and 40 seconds.

People are curious about the vision fast or vision quest, and intrigued by the idea of it. One of the things that deters people from trying it is fear of being alone in the wilderness, and particularly fear of wild animals. This is something I too had to face, and have since come to terms with, both as a participant and as a guide. I have had encounters with bears in the wilderness, and even saw a cougar in the distance once. As I have discussed elsewhere in this blog, I have come to realize that it is a rare privilege to encounter a magnificent wild animal like a cougar or a bear.

But, more importantly for the faster who has concerns about such encounters, these animals are very aware of humans and will avoid them if at all possible. The danger of attack from a wild animal is miniscule. My co-guide, Kim Ashley, and I thoroughly prepare fasters at Monkey Valley so that they know how to behave if an encounter happens. With some common sense and a little bit of advice it is easy to make sure an encounter with a wild animal is a blessing and not a danger. As guides, it is very important for us to make sure that each faster returns safely to her or his people. We are confident in our ability to teach you what you need to know to do that.

Another question people have about the vision fast is about the “no shelter” prohibition. The modern-day fast is adapted for city folks in a northern climate, and, again, making sure the faster returns safely is of primary importance. So the vision fast as taught by the School of Lost Borders and at Monkey Valley provides for temporary shelter in the form of a tarp, or even a tent if the faster feels this would be necessary. We teach tarp craft before the fasters go out, so that you learn how to put up a tarp that will keep out all the elements. Believe me, I have huddled under a tarp in the most frightening of storms and managed to stay warm and dry!

We also use a buddy system, in which each $Women\'s Fast in California, 2008$ person leaves a sign at a buddy pile once a day, so that we know everyone is safe. If something should happen, help will be on the way in less than 24 hours. Much of the time in the first two days of preparation before the fast is spent in teaching fasters what they need to know to stay safe on their fasts, and during this time we teach the buddy system as well. We also provide materials to help you prepare when you register to do a fast at Monkey Valley. If you would like to read more about the vision fast and surviving alone for three days and three nights in the wilderness, I recommend The Trail to the Sacred Mountain—A Vision Fast Handbook for Adults. This is required reading before doing a fast at Monkey Valley.

I hope these photos of groups of people who have survived their fasts will inspire you to try it yourself! The Programs page has more information about the upcoming fasts at Monkey Valley. Check it out.

Cougars: spirit guides on the vision fast

When you are on a vision fast or medicine walk, you enter into a mystical realm where all events and encounters take on a significance that is bigger than what most of us experience in ordinary waking life. During this time, an encounter with an animal is not just a coincidence. (If it ever is!) Usually a particular animal will appear to you with a message or lesson that only that animal can bring. And of course, the circumstances of the encounter will help you to understand more about the message or meaning. Also your own history, belief system, and connection with particular animals will help you to know what the animal is saying to you. Therefore, the information provided here about cougars is a possible starting point, but may not touch on the fullness of what a cougar means to you, or the gifts that your own encounter with a cougar may hold.

Ted Andrews, author of Animal Speak: The Spiritual and Magical Powers of Creatures Great and Small and many other books, is my favourite source for reading about the significance of animals in different mythologies. Ted says that the cougar symbolizes coming into your own power. This is easy to see, given that the cougar has the many powers described in other postings: physical strength, leaping ability, power of hearing and sight, stealth, beauty. Ted writes, “If cougar has shown up in your life, it is time to learn about power. Test your own. Most young cougars learn how to use their power through trial and error. It strengthens them and hones their skills. When cougar shows up as a totem, much of the trial has been worked through. Now it is time to assert.”

One of the things I like about Ted’s writing and understanding of the animal world is the connection between predator and prey. Given that the main prey of the cougar is the deer, which symbolizes gentleness (including a gentle beckoning into new adventure), the deer is also significant in understanding the message of the cougar. Ted suggests that in learning to use our power, we can do so with the gentleness of a deer, when that is appropriate. This is a lesson I keep needing to learn! The cougar knows with decisiveness when to attack forcefully, but its prey teaches us that we can also exercise power with gentleness.

One thing that sometimes prevents us from showing, owning, and using our power, is the fear of loss of those who will not approve of or like it. I would suggest this might be especially challenging for women, who are socialized to appear weak and helpless. Cougar medicine can help all, male and female, to assert ourselves, show our capabilities, grow and stretch. And this means risking upsetting those around us, who may want us to stay the same. Are you willing to risk loss to realize and express your true nature? This is a question cougar asks.

Recently I was seeing a naturopath to learn to balance my power and weakness. My strength was distorted into outbursts of rage, which covered up feelings of helplessness. When we explored the animal that I identified with in these situations, it was the cougar. I felt that I had the wild, magnificent power of the cougar, but I was repressing it because I felt those around me would reject me if I showed this strength. I had a dream during this time, in which I was in a hospital room, awaiting surgery. The doctor came in, and pulled a limp cougar out of a dustbin, where it was covered with grey dirt and garbage. There was another similar bin in the room, containing another cougar. I knew the doctor was going to use some of the cougar’s life energy when she operated on me. The cougars were being kept in these bins for that purpose. I was shocked and horrified that this is what I was doing to my wild, fierce, free true nature; I was keeping it in a bin, covered with garbage, and just allowing the tiniest portion of it out to sustain my life. This dream made me wonder what it would be like to allow the cougar out of the dust bin. To allow her the fullness of her expression in my life. This question is intimately related to my spiritual journey of expressing the mystery of my true nature as I live in this world. How can I know this mystery, and learn to express it? The dream has only awakened questions, not answers. But it is clear to me that the cougar is speaking to me to set me on the path to exploring these questions.

If you are ever out on a vision fast and a cougar comes to visit you, know that it is a rare and remarkable gift. While remembering the information about how to survive a cougar attack, also try to open into communication with the cougar. Observe everything about the cougar’s physical relation to you: direction of approach and leaving; what the cougar does around you; whether you can sense a feeling-tone coming from the cougar; or even hear the words or thoughts of the cougar. In the sacred space of the vision fast, it is unlikely that the cougar has come to harm you. More likely it has come to teach and to give you a gift and a wonderful story for your people.