RTFM!!

I know, I know, it takes a weird geek like me to enjoy reading the little booklet that comes with any new appliance or toy, from bluetooth speakers to refrigerators.

I actually pour a nice beverage, crack open the book, and read the English instructions from one end to the other, including the legal warnings about no-brainer electric shock hazard info. There’s always a gem in there somewhere that I need to know in order to install successfully. Like how to level the fridge with the little twisty legs on the front. Lefty loosy righty tighty.

Last night on Christmas Eve I was with a group of friends installing a new TV prior to the festivities. The most basic item was not covered in the little manual. And four fairly intelligent people could not figure out how to plug in the TV.

It was mounted on the wall—a very complex procedure, accomplished by my tall and talented friend Jeff, without so much as glancing at the book. Once that was done, we all agreed it was time for martinis. Peppermint martinis—amazingly good and they go down like water—offered by our luscious songstress Dorothy, the owner of the wall and the TV.

After a round of martinis we thought it was time to get something up on the screen. Not a yule log—Dot wanted something more exciting. Perhaps a snowy Christmas scene from New York pre-global warming.

Then the fun really began. iPhones were turned on. The flashlight was employed, from every single angle, by yours truly, and then, in case I had missed the obvious, by our celebrity director friend Tess. To no avail. There was no apparent way to hook the power cord to the TV.

Finally I said RTFM!!! Hapless Jeff located the Spanish version and attempted to decipher powero cordo. Not happening. I suggested we look a little deeper into the small pile of documentation and find the English version. And we turned it over, back to front. Mention was made of turning the power on, but not of how to connect the cord. Finally I spotted a small diagram on the back that seemed to hint at the place to insert the chord, on the bottom at the very back of the TV, hidden once it was installed on the wall. Great design! And such helpful instructions.

Of course Jeff had to take the TV off the wall again, and sure enough—in the most inaccessible spot imaginable—there was a small double-concave hole in which to insert the cord.

How many New Yorkers does it take to plug in a TV? Four. And how many peppermint martinis? At least eight! But if they had just RTFM from the beginning… we would have missed out on a lot of fun. ROTF.

Merry Christmas. Let the electronic yule logs blaze on your well-installed TVs!