Programs – Page 6 – Karen's New York Love Affair

Praying for the non-religious

Continuing with the story of the sweat lodge, one of the elements that was very moving was the praying. As a person who doesn’t follow a Christian tradition, prayer has often seemed impossible for me to do. If I don’t have a god I believe in, how can I pray?

In the sweat lodge, I found that participants pray in many different ways. Some are Christian and pray to god, some pray to great spirit or creator, some pray to the spirits of the directions, or to the ancestors. The invitation is to pray, but there is no designated entity to whom we pray. For me this frees the act of prayer from its connection to Christianity, and allows the intention of the prayer to emerge more clearly. The act of praying opens one’s heart through having good wishes for the well-being of oneself or another.

In Buddhism, the practice of maitri or metta is similar; it is a prayer for oneself, others, and all beings to be happy and free from suffering. This type of practice is usually done in stages, beginning with oneself, and moving on to those we feel appreciation towards, friends and family, those we are neutral towards, those we find difficult, and then towards all beings.

In the sweat lodge, I didn’t consciously choose this progression of people to pray for, but found myself spontaneously praying for a friend who was dying of cancer, and then members of my family, people I had fasted with, and my spiritual teachers. I felt moved to be praying for people and expressing my caring for them in this way, but what was really astonishing was when I prayed for people that I had a problem with. By allowing myself to feel caring for the health and well-being of people whom I felt had hurt me, my heart opened in a new and surprising way. I felt myself to be much bigger than the small, hurt self I had taken myself to be in the interaction when I felt hurt. Instead, I was a more expansive being who was big enough to offer prayer for my teachers! And from this expansive place, forgiveness occurred. Later I noticed a shift in my feelings towards those I felt had hurt me; the reactive charge was gone.

This remarkable, unforeseen outcome of prayer was one of the many gifts I received in the sweat lodge.

Here is a prayer for at the end of life, or perhaps for when one faces the symbolic death of the vision fast:

Great Spirit

when we face the sunset

when we come singing

the last song, may it be

without shame, singing

“It is finished in beauty,

it is finished in beauty!”

– Evelyn Eaton, I Send a Voice

Drumming for the vision fast

I was interviewed this week on Vancouver’s Co-op Radio (CFRO 102.7 FM) about the vision fast. The interview was for a radio show called Conscious Living. Listen to the interview to find out more about this thing called a vision fast. The interview concludes with a song for calling in the four directions, which I wrote about last time. When you click Log In, you are given a chance to register for the show’s web site. You must do this before you can listen to the MP3, but it only takes a minute or two.

I smudged myself with sage before going downtown to do the interview, and asked the spirits of the seven directions to be with me and help draw those people to the vision fast on July 5 – 11 at Monkey Valley who would most benefit from the ceremony. May it be so!

Why would anyone want to do a think like go without food for three days, alone in the woods, with only a tarp and sleeping bag for shelter? I think it takes a certain kind of person to be interested in this type of adventure, and a certain yearning in the soul. I believe that all humans yearn for connection with nature, because we evolved as a species for tens of thousands of years in the natural world. But nowadays, living in cities, many people do not hear their heart’s call to be out in nature. Or they may misinterpret the call as a yearning for something else, or drown it out with one of the substances so readily available to us for such purposes! So I think the vision fast ceremony appeals specifically to people who already feel their connection to nature, or who are aware of wanting to build or strengthen this connection. After all, there are many paths for gaining spiritual and psychological understanding that do not involve this level of physical discomfort!

Then there is the yearning to know yourself more deeply, to find guidance or healing, or to mark a life passage in a significant way. Perhaps you might feel the urge to test yourself, and gain a sense of confidence or strength from knowing you have passed the test. Certainly this is one of the functions the vision fast has served historically, as a right of passage from adolescence to adulthood. Since many of us never experienced or marked this passage into adulthood as a teenager, for some adults this might feel like an incompleteness that the vision fast ceremony can remedy.

When it comes to finding guidance, healing, inspiration, and self-knowledge in nature, the process is very mysterious. Time alone on the land opens us up. It makes our ego shell more permeable, usually in a safe and gentle way. It deepens our senses and our awareness, opening us to knowing and interacting with the natural world in a different way than we might experience on a weekend hike with friends. Being alone and not having to interact with others is actually a great gift, which allows a portion of our regular unconscious functioning (to maintain a self image, monitor how the other person is feeling, make sure the relationship is okay) to work for a different purpose. All of these factors, and the physiological changes brought about by fasting, can lead us into altered states of consciousness, where information is available to us in a new way.

This type of opening into the unknown is not for everyone. It takes a courage and a curiosity. A willingness to look foolish (or at least, dirty!). It takes a wanting. This is why on the School of Lost Borders vision fast program page they have a statement to warn away those who might be entering into this too lightly: “Or just forget that such a wild idea ever came into your head.” I love that! Enter at your own risk…

Singing in the sweat lodge

As I mentioned earlier, there were four rounds in the sweat lodge: The first round was for calling in the ancestors and spirits. The second round was for praying. The third round was for healing. And the final round was the “going home” round. At the beginning of each round, more rocks were brought in. During the round, Munro used a dipper to scoop water from a bucket and splash it onto the rocks, creating steam and raising the heat in the lodge.

Each rock was blessed with herbs as it was brought in. Herbs commonly used are cedar, sweet grass, sage, lavender (for gentleness), copal (resin), and osha-root or bear root. Each has its own magical scent, but I found that the osha-root was especially captivating. I later learned that osha is associated with dreaming and helps one to realize that there is magic in everything, including each one of us. It helps to lift a veil between the conscious and unconscious worlds. Osha is a powerful, spicy-smelling root that was sometimes ingested to cause a sweat or fever that could release toxins from the body.

During the first round Munro taught us songs for welcoming in the spirits of the seven directions. Here is one of the songs. I have adapted the lyrics slightly. Each line is repeated twice.

Power in the East, standing there, we are humbly praying
Power in the South, standing there, we are humbly praying
Power in the West, standing there, we are humbly praying
Power in the North, standing there, we are humbly praying
Power in the Sky, standing there, we are humbly praying
Power in the Earth, lying there, we are humbly praying
Beloved in my heart, abiding there, we are humbly praying

When I was out on the vision fast, I added lines to pray for individual people:

I pray for Dorrie, I pray for Dorrie, I pray she is warm and safe, I pray she is warm and safe…

Another song he taught us is the Stone People song for honoring the grandfather stones:

Stone people, stone people
Stone people, stone people
You are the first people, thank you for coming, thank you for praying with us
Stone people, stone people

This is a great, simple song that can be adapted to honour all of the creatures in the natural world: tree people, cactus people, sky people, cloud people, grass people, ant people, and so on. I made up lots of different lyrics during my vision fast. Singing to the plants and animals is a way of opening my heart to connect with them and appreciate them. It is also a lot of fun!

The gift of fire

Meeting in Circle with the Wilderness Guides Council

Fire is the element of the east, the direction of springtime. When I first sat in circle at the Wilderness Guides Council, on Monday, April 13, I deliberately sat in the east. This is a part of the wheel that I am least comfortable in. Magic happens here, and the unpredictable, for it is in this direction that old forms are broken down so that something new can emerge. It is the direction of creativity, death and rebirth, and has the gift of vision of the eagle flying high in the sky.

I am typically more comfortable in the west, the place of introspection and darkness. So it felt risky to take my place in the east and own this part of my spirit. There were about 25 guides sitting in the circle, and I listened as they discussed the business of our annual meeting. Things like the budget and who would be carrying on which duties in the year to come. They have a “mask of the ancestors,” and one of the duties is to be the keeper of the mask. It is made out of the pelvic bone of a large animal, and is decorated with feathers and beads. The meeting lasted a long time—about 5 hours—and about 4 hours into it one of the feathers blew off the mask and landed in my lap. It was an orange flicker feather—which I have written about previously in this blog. This was the first magical gift of the east. It seemed like a blessing and confirmation that I am a member of this group. The ancestors confirmed it. And my own heart did too—sitting listening to these people who care about each other, the earth, and the sacred ceremony of the vision fast, I felt my own desire to continue on through time with these people. The gift of the feather confirmed it. I put the feather in my emergency kit, which I always carry with me when I’m out on the land. May it keep all the fasters safe!

The Sweat Lodge

After the Wilderness Guides Council (of North America) gathering ended, we had about 24 hours to prepare the grounds for the International Wilderness Guides Gathering—a week-long gathering of guides from around the world. I helped out a little, setting up the garbage and recycling bins. But the main thing I had volunteered to do was to help with the campfires, to make sure they were put out safely at the end of the night. But somehow this turned into a new job—helping tend the fire for the women’s sweat lodge, which was going to take place the following Saturday. What an honour! I agreed to help, and thought I’d better get an idea of what was involved. So I went to the first sweat of the IWGG gathering, held on Tuesday, April 14th. This was the second gift of the east.

Meeting the Grandfathers

When I got to the place of the sweat lodge, located under the magnificent oak trees, beside a creek, I sat down with the others who were waiting, took off my shoes, and nestled my toes into the sand. I had not been in a sweat lodge since about 1993, and I was looking forward to seeing how the heat felt to me now. Munro Sickafoose, the netkeeper for the WGC, was pouring water for the sweat. This meant he was running everything that happened inside the sweat lodge (from the human incarnate end—spirit was really running what happened). A beautiful man named Dirk Johnston was the firekeeper, who ran what happened outside of the sweat, preparing the fire to heat the rocks, and transporting them into the sweat lodge. These heated rocks are called the grandfathers, and the firekeeper communes with these rocks and in a sense is responsible for how the sweat goes. It is a sacred and mysterious duty.

It turned out that I was the oldest woman at the sweat lodge, so Munro asked me to sit beside him in the lodge, since his wife wasn’t there, and to put cedar on each grandfather stone as it came into the lodge. I felt very honoured to do this. We were taught what to say as we entered the lodge: Aho matakwe-asin! All my relations! After entering we crawled on our hands and knees in a clockwise direction to take our places around the edges of the lodge. There was a pit in the middle, ready to receive the grandfathers. When we were all inside, Munro asked Dirk to bring in 9 grandfathers. Dirk brought in the first rock, glowing red and clearly visible in the darkness of the sweat lodge. He said “Aho, matakwe-asin! Grandfather, come on in!” Munro guided the pitchfork and placed the rock in the pit in the middle. Now it was my job to sprinkle a little bit of dried cedar leaves on the rock. The herb sparkled as it struck the heated red stone, and the scent began to tickle our noses, creating an immediate feeling that something sacred was happening.

So it went, as Dirk brought each grandfather in. “Aho, matakwe-asin! Grandfather, come on in!” As I sprinkled the herb on each one, I offered a blessing to it. And I fell in love with these glowing grandfather rocks, and with this sacred ceremony from the first peoples of this land.

Munro told us there would be four rounds. The first round was for calling in the ancestors and spirits. The second round was for praying. The third round was for healing. And the final round was the “going home” round. At the beginning of each round, more rocks would be brought in. During the round, Munro would pour water on the rocks to create steam, increasing the heat in the sweat lodge. To be continued…

Learning and transformation — ouch!

I wasn’t always a happy camper at the 4th International Wilderness Guides Gathering, held in Arizona’s Chiricahua Mountains this April. Previous gatherings have been held in Germany, South Africa, and the UK. People from these countries attended, and many more besides. The gathering was hosted by the Wilderness Guides Council, a North American organization of which I am a member. It was wonderful to meet fellow guides, and to feel I belong to this group of people who are passionate about connecting with the earth and helping others undertake the rite of passage known as the vision fast or vision quest. However, there is a shadow side to every event, and any kind of learning and expansion frequently involves discomfort.

The next gathering, in 2012, will be in the Ukraine. It is wonderful to know that wilderness work is growing strong in many places around the world. The Ukrainians’ plea to host the next gathering was magical. Georgie drew the sign of the four directions in the earth, and it seemed obvious that the Ukraine is the place of the east, where the next gathering should be. Those present could clearly feel the strength of his desire to support wilderness work such as the vision quest to take root again in the Ukraine, where it has been virtually lost as a practice among the people there. It was very moving to witness the gathering of about 120 people sit in council together and reach the decision to meet in the Ukraine next time. Siberia is reputed to be the birthplace of shamanism, and my family has roots in the formerly German Mennonite community of Zaporojie, in the Ukraine, so I was especially moved to know that the guides of the world will gather there to help rebuild lost connections to the ways of the earth.

After the gathering, Tom Quinton (from Big Sur) offered a guides’ renewal fast, which I went to, and there the basecamp was also held by Gillian Wilton from South Africa, and Heorhiy (Georgie) Kushnir from the Ukraine. The nine guides fasting were from Canada, the UK, the US, the Ukraine, Germany, and Australia. Wow! Has such a thing ever happened before?

Over the next few weeks I will be writing about my experiences at the guides gathering and the renewal fast. I am going to begin with my first journal entry:

2009 April 12, after dark, everyone else asleep…

Here I am at the IWGG in a campground in the Chiricahua Mountains. At the moment I hate it. It’s very cold. There’s a bunch of people crowded into each campsite. Corinna is snoring away so I’ll have to wear earplugs. I just put them in but they haven’t fully expanded yet. Just as I was settling in I found a giant spider in my tent and had to remove it…

And thus the trip began with the discomfort that severance from the clean, familiar, and warm comforts of home always brings. This was the lesson I learned on one of the first medicine walks I ever did, and it continues to be something I forget and relearn. Spending time in nature, on uneven surfaces, with bugs and temperature fluctuations and prickly things, is UNCOMFORTABLE! Every time, I need to find a way to GET OVER IT! Afterwards I remember the beautiful connections with people and the land, the ceremonies, the animals, the inner growth. But at the time, I am mostly focused on the DISCOMFORT. I guess this is the way of the ego.

One last glimpse of winter

I seem to be a little reluctant to make the turn into spring. So here’s one last look at the winter of ’08. This is my sister Katherine, shoveling snow off the roof of her shed in Horsefly, BC. This picture was taken in March! That’s a lot of snow. That’s her dog, Sam, in the snow below.

I’m going to Arizona to meet with a gathering of wild folks who call themselves wilderness guides. The gathering is in the Chiricahua Mountains, in bear country! After the gathering I am staying to do a guides renewal fast. Four days and nights of fasting from human company, food, and built shelter. It feels like I have been going through the severance phase already, as I tied up all the loose ends here at home and prepared for the trip. Today after I dropped Donald off with friends who will be looking after him I noticed the sadness of leaving the familiar and comfortable behind. I missed my kitty!

Severance is an important step on the journey, because we have to let go of the familiar to leave an empty space for something new to emerge within us. But it is not a comfortable place to be in. Yet we must sever ourselves from our people to cross the threshold of the vision fast ceremony. We must leave the safety and comfort of the coccoon in order to grow, learn, and ultimately bring our gifts back to our people.

So I must sever from this blog until my return. Be well, dear readers, and may you blossom in the spring sunshine.

Springing into the light

Friday was the first day of spring: the tipping point when day and night are equal, and now the days are getting longer. More light brings warmth to the earth, helping new life to grow.

I went up into the mountains to check out the snow on my favourite running trail, and found that the trail is almost entirely clear! Even better, I started my run at 6:42 PM, and when I finished it was still light out. Ah, the relief of passing through another winter. We survived the long dark nights, and the trials of the cold time. The reward is longer days, the golden light of spring, and the beauty of spring flowers and budding trees.

Eagle is associated with the direction of the east, which is the direction of the spring time. Eagle symbolizes seeing with a new perspective. The eagle is known to fly the highest of the birds, and has symbolic significance in many cultures throughout history. It is hard to see in the dark, so the turning of the wheel into the light of spring brings an increase of vision, a wider perspective, and an opening into perceiving what is going on in the outer world outside the home. It is a time of transformation and new beginnings.

The element associated with spring is fire—the fire of the sun rise at dawn. The fire that burns away what is no longer needed, making room for new life, new growth, new expression. Meditate on this. What are you ready to burn away in your life? What new form wants to be born into the light? How will you bring your gifts into the world this year?

Safety and the vision fast

Next vision fast: July 5 – 11, 2009 at Monkey Valley

This week I had the great pleasure of giving a presentation on the vision fast to the Vancouver chapter of the Society for Technical Communication. Our March STC program was a Pecha Kucha event, in which speakers each discuss 20 slides for 20 seconds, making the presentations a short and informative 6 minutes and 40 seconds.

People are curious about the vision fast or vision quest, and intrigued by the idea of it. One of the things that deters people from trying it is fear of being alone in the wilderness, and particularly fear of wild animals. This is something I too had to face, and have since come to terms with, both as a participant and as a guide. I have had encounters with bears in the wilderness, and even saw a cougar in the distance once. As I have discussed elsewhere in this blog, I have come to realize that it is a rare privilege to encounter a magnificent wild animal like a cougar or a bear.

But, more importantly for the faster who has concerns about such encounters, these animals are very aware of humans and will avoid them if at all possible. The danger of attack from a wild animal is miniscule. My co-guide, Kim Ashley, and I thoroughly prepare fasters at Monkey Valley so that they know how to behave if an encounter happens. With some common sense and a little bit of advice it is easy to make sure an encounter with a wild animal is a blessing and not a danger. As guides, it is very important for us to make sure that each faster returns safely to her or his people. We are confident in our ability to teach you what you need to know to do that.

Another question people have about the vision fast is about the “no shelter” prohibition. The modern-day fast is adapted for city folks in a northern climate, and, again, making sure the faster returns safely is of primary importance. So the vision fast as taught by the School of Lost Borders and at Monkey Valley provides for temporary shelter in the form of a tarp, or even a tent if the faster feels this would be necessary. We teach tarp craft before the fasters go out, so that you learn how to put up a tarp that will keep out all the elements. Believe me, I have huddled under a tarp in the most frightening of storms and managed to stay warm and dry!

We also use a buddy system, in which each $Women\'s Fast in California, 2008$ person leaves a sign at a buddy pile once a day, so that we know everyone is safe. If something should happen, help will be on the way in less than 24 hours. Much of the time in the first two days of preparation before the fast is spent in teaching fasters what they need to know to stay safe on their fasts, and during this time we teach the buddy system as well. We also provide materials to help you prepare when you register to do a fast at Monkey Valley. If you would like to read more about the vision fast and surviving alone for three days and three nights in the wilderness, I recommend The Trail to the Sacred Mountain—A Vision Fast Handbook for Adults. This is required reading before doing a fast at Monkey Valley.

I hope these photos of groups of people who have survived their fasts will inspire you to try it yourself! The Programs page has more information about the upcoming fasts at Monkey Valley. Check it out.

The white air of winter

Winter is coming to an end. We’ve already begun Daylight Savings. The first day of spring is March 20. But there’s still a stinging bite of cold in the air in Vancouver, and we had snow a few days ago, which is still clinging to my back deck. At my sister’s place in Horsefly they still have five feet of snow on the ground!

So let’s celebrate some of the qualities of winter before it slips away. The colour for the winter (north) part of the wheel is white. And the element is air. Both of these make sense in northern climates, where a winter storm can turn the whole world into a mass of white, with no discernible difference between sky and land. It was like this at my new home overlooking the Burrard Inlet during the snow storm a few days ago. The entire inlet was filled with white clouds, totally blocking out the mountains across the way, and even the water of the harbour. Fat white flakes drifted lazily through the air, against the background of white. So it is easy to see the literal meaning of the white and air qualities associated with the north.

But there are deeper meanings to these qualities. In the Sufi teaching of the lataif, which are subtle centres in the body, the white aspect is located in the solar plexus, and is associated with will. Will can take on many flavours, but the essence of it is support. This can feel like the solid support of a snow-capped mountain, or the soft fluffy support of white clouds. When a person is in touch with this aspect of their being, it feels like there is no strain or effort required to sit up straight or stand tall. There is an ease to one’s experience of oneself and events. Connecting to will in a deeper way, one moves from the personal will to a sense of universal will, which can feel like a vast slow movement of air, space, water, or even of being on a vast spaceship travelling through the sky. The association with air is evident at the deepest experience of universal will, and in the more superficial experience of being supported by soft clouds, as if this substance of support is in the air all around one.

I recently moved to a new home that is surrounded by space, with open expanses in all directions, and with a fairly large body of water below. Being in this beautiful place, so close to nature, with seagulls and bald-headed eagles soaring outside my window, I have been feeling a sense of being part of the vast movement of universal will. It has carried me here to this new home. Its movements feel mysterious and purposeful. While the turning of the earth and the wheel feel circular, the movement of the universal will (wheel?) feels bigger to me, bigger than a planet. And the movement seems to be in a straight line, though maybe it is just so vast that there is no discernable turning to it.

The support of universal will manifests as a sense that this vast force is causing all manifestation to occur, so I don’t actually need to do anything but go along for the ride. It is quite a switch from feeling that I have to make everything happen! One small way I have let this affect me is to not “try” to create a parking space by asking the parking gods to have one ready for me at such-and-such location. Instead, I am just trusting that I will find a good spot. This seems like a very small thing, and I guess it is a small shift in my life. But I feel the difference. Instead of trying, and making an effort, I am saving that little bit of energy by trusting in the universe. And this brings a feeling of relaxation into my experience of parking.

The universal will has carried you through the events and passages of your life too, and here to this web site. Since you are here, maybe there’s a reason! I invite you to explore the energy of the north by going to an open place outside that is exposed to the wind. Let the wind blow over you and through you. Let it empty you. Revel in the cold and emptiness. This is a gift of the north.

Winter in Vancouver: service not snowplowing

As I have mentioned before, I am spending this winter in Vancouver. I wanted to stay at Monkey Valley, to enjoy the incredible stillness that comes when the entire landscape is blanketed in white. But it was not to be; the snow plow company was unable to commit to plowing my roads to keep them open for the winter. I was unable to risk getting snowed in for several months, given my commitments to my people here in Vancouver; teaching yoga to the youths in prison in Burnaby, and assisting my chapter of the Society for Technical Communication as its president. Both of these require my presence in Vancouver occasionally, though ironically my technical writing work does not, as it is conducted entirely by phone and internet.

Yesterday morning I found a light dusting of snow in the backyard of my place in Vancouver, and at Christmas time there was actually over a foot of snow! Very unusual weather for Vancouver, but it was a nice compensation for missing out on the snow at Monkey Valley.

I didn’t give up easily on spending the winter in Monkey Valley. I looked into what would be involved in plowing the roads myself this winter, and came up with several options:

4-wheeler with blade attachment or blower attachment
hand-held and pushed/walked powered snow blower
custom-built blower attachment for my Tracker
tractor with blade or blower attachment

As well as costing anywhere from $1,000 to over $10,000, these options would also require me to do the work, which is to plow 7 KM of road. The time this takes varies depending on the type of equipment, but would be a minimum of 1-2 hours for that length of road each time a few inches of snow falls. Given the 8 inches of snow that fell in early December, I was glad I made the decision to leave when I did. I just did not want to spend my whole winter plowing the road, as much fun as that might be! Maybe next year.

Of the options I mentioned, I think mounting a snowblower on my Tracker would be the best way to go. It would involve permanently altering the vehicle’s front bumper, and attaching to a point higher on the front of the car as well, so it would definitely alter the appearance of the car. But why buy a 4-wheeler or tractor when the Tracker has more power and can do the job!? MORE POWER!!!! As Tim Allen used to say on Home Improvement.

So I have been enjoying serving my people in Vancouver this winter. I recently taught a class I developed, called Yoga for the Office, at the STC’s January program meeting. It went really well. It was a thrill to teach to many people who had never tried yoga before, to help them feel the benefits of it for themselves. The treasurer of the chapter told me it made her headache go away, and the public relations person said her shoulder ache disappeared. Plus people had various interesting experiences of changed mental states due to the breathing we did. So I was very pleased with how the class turned out. I am considering offering this one-hour workshop to offices in the Lower Mainland. Please let me know if you’re interested!