Wild Woman – Page 13 – Karen's New York Love Affair

Last day at Black Rook Bakehouse in the East Village

I was fortunate to enjoy a mountain of coconut cream pie on the last day at the Black Rook Bakehouse original location at 2141 E. Hastings St. These pictures from Saturday, July 19, 2014 capture the nostalgia of this unique place, and the longing for more and more coconut cream pie!

Black Rook Bakehouse will be opening at their new location at 2474 E. Hastings any day now. They moved locations because yet another condo development is slated for the 2100 block of E. Hastings. Let’s hope this one actually comes to fruition, unlike the Alba development in the 2500 block of E. Hastings, which halted after tearing down many of the buildings on the block. Luckily London Drugs still survives at one end, and Starbucks and a few local businesses like Hair Magic Salon and Cash for Gold at the other! And we now have a nice community garden in the middle.

BTW, the Black Rook Bakehouse coconut cream pie is out of this world, with the most generous amount of yummy real whipped cream that I have ever seen on a pie. It is actually too much for me to eat at one sitting. Incredible!

They also have a selection of other amazing pies, desserts, and savories. But when I see the coconut cream pie, I have to have it. I did sample their delicate little honey lavender cookies as well, and they are incredibly yum.

P.S. Check out the Google Maps street view of 2500 block from July 2012!

Google Maps 2500 Block E. Hastings July 2012

Night sky over the Port of Vancouver

I was captivated by the crescent moon rising over the Port of Vancouver, with the shades of sunset still limning the mountain skyline, and lights sparkling bright as the moon. I was so lucky to enjoy this view for five years. At this point in time, July 2014, I was three months away from my first visit to New York. I don’t think I even knew I was taking the trip yet. This moment in time was a peak moment and culmination of my life BNY.

I could have stayed here, enjoying this wonder and beauty, and the life full of warmth, family, and friendship. (With very low monthly expenses and little need to work.) But it felt too soon to simply retire and enjoy this which I had wrought in perpetuity. New adventures were beckoning, just around the corner.

Shadow play

In addition to writing, I am fascinated with light and colour. Shadows have really been catching my eye lately. Here is the result of a photography experiment I conducted yesterday. In this series of 14 photos, the shifting colour tones and emphases on different elements of the image evoke different moods, from somber to playful to compelling. [Check out post about the exhibit of this series at Havana Art Gallery.]

L’Ouevre was the title of the 14th novel in Émile Zola’s Rougon-Macquart series, first published in serial form in 1885. I once wrote a biography about Zola for a writing class. Interesting how this word popped into my head two decades later as I was thinking of names for these images!

A new book about cougars

May 3 is the night of the BC Book Prizes gala, and up for the Bill Duthie Booksellers’ Choice Award is a new book about cougars. Given the popularity of the blog entries about cougars that I’ve written on this site—it’s the topic that I have received the most comments about—I thought readers might be interested to know about The Cougar: Beautiful, Wild and Dangerous by Paula Wild.

The Cougar is a skillful blend of natural history, scientific research, First Nations stories, and first person accounts. With her in-depth research, Wild explores the relationship between mountain lions and humans, and provides the most up-to-date information on cougar awareness and defense tactics for those living, working, or travelling in cougar country. Both feared and admired, cougars are rarely seen, but odds are that a big cat has watched you walk through the woods while you’ve been totally unaware of its presence. And that’s part of what makes the cougar an icon of all that is beautiful, wild and dangerous. Paula Wild is the author of Sointula Island Utopia, winner of a BC Historical Federation Certificate of Merit. Her work has been nominated for National Magazine Awards and she received the John Alexander Media Award for “On a Mission for Life.” She lives in Courtenay, BC.

Here is some more info about the book on Paula’s publisher’s website.

Are you ready to connect with your wild nature?

On June 21 I will be guiding another medicine walk excursion in North Vancouver. The medicine walk is a way to connect with nature, and especially the wildness and beauty of your own inner nature. I will be teaching the nature psychology of the four directions, and then people will have the chance for a 2-hour solo walk to find out for themselves how this ancient teaching can connect them with their inner guidance and the guidance that nature offers us.

Do you have a burning question about your life, your purpose, your soul? Are you seeking guidance, and ready to look within? If so, I invite you to join with a few other explorers on a day-trip to discovery. June 21 is the summer solstice, and the energy of the universe will be adding to the powerful energy of the beautiful spot in nature where we will be walking. See the Programs page for more information.

Afterward

June 21 was a gorgeous day on the west coast. My friend Marvin and I hiked 16 KM along the Seymour River. We didn’t follow the strict format of the medicine walk, but did spend some time in contemplation as we rested by the water. He taught me how to say “moss-covered stones” in Esperanto: musko kovrita stono. Sounds pretty Russian to me! The cool water flowing over the musko kovrita stono was serene and refreshing. The green of the forest was a soothing balm for my soul. Spending time in nature was a wonderful way to mark the turning of the seasons. It heralded a new way of being in the world for me—more at ease, taking time to enjoy the pleasure of my friends’ company and the beauty of the natural world. While I didn’t consciously bring a question as on a traditional medicine walk, the spontaneous unfolding of insight occurred nonetheless. Life can be gentle and flowing, like the river on the first day of summer. Perhaps that can be my default position, rather than the frozen stillness of winter or the turbulence of the spring run-off. We’ll see!

Environmental awareness resources

Organizations for Wild Ceremony

The School of Lost Borders, founded by Steven Foster and Meredith Little, has been developing, teaching, and guiding questers in contemporary rites of passage ceremonies for over 30 years.
The Wilderness Guides Council is a professional organization for wilderness guides that promotes the health of wilderness ecosystems and is committed to reintroducing meaningful rites of passage to modern culture.
Wilderness Reflections offers wilderness quests in California and Utah.

Friends’ Web Pages

Fran Weinbaum has been guiding vision quests in Vermont since 1995 and uses this ceremony to strengthen community bonds. Her web site provides info about the contemporary vision quest.
David Johnson is a Buddhist and ecopsychologist. In his web site he reflects on Buddhism, ecospirituality, ecopsychology, and coping with despair in the face of environmental damage and the impending peaking of oil production.
John Harper is a web guy and spiritual adventurer. He’s an old friend from the Diamond Approach, and set up this site and blog. Thanks, John!
Karen Rempel is the author, designer, and illustrator of this site. She is a technical writer and she can help you with your website too, whether you need someone to write new content or to edit and refresh your existing site materials.

Environmental Groups

Environmental Information and Resources

Spiritual Connections

Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind

As some of you know, I am currently engaged in study in the Diamond Approach (DA) teacher training program. I recently read Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, and it was such a transformative experience, I’d like to share some of my impressions with you. The impact of nature and the ocean and sky interrelated with the reading, to really open my mind.

I read Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind over the course of about seven weeks. I was renting a house on the coast near Big Sur, with huge open views of the Pacific, sea and sky, and read the book every night before bed. The book and location together impacted my soul by creating a sense of vast openness, not-knowing mind, and spaciousness. I listened to my DA group’s teaching of the blue diamond of the Diamond Guidance (see Spacecruiser Inquiry, by A. H. Almaas, p. 334) during this period as well. This DA teaching evokes that same sense of open not-knowing mind. Awareness, awakeness, freshness, not-knowing, unlimited possibility.

The book blew my mind in so many ways, and I sometimes didn’t understand what Suzuki was talking about at all (“You should be like a frog always,” p. 68; “The blue mountain is the father of the white cloud,” p. 13), but it had the impact of opening my mind to simplicity and unknown experience, over and over again over the course of the reading. It opened me up to not knowing, being okay not to know, even with others—that is, it opened up a self image (of knowing everything, being smart). It increased my openness to life, to not knowing what will happen, what is good to happen—to acceptance of reality.

One example of how it deepened my personal experience is in my personal yoga practice, which continues to have a freshness even though I have been doing the same practice, with some variation but a core set of the same poses, for 11 years. Experimenting with the idea from the book that each moment is unconnected to the previous moment (ashes are not connected to charcoal), I had the experience of each moment of swan-diving forward into a forward fold as being fresh, unknown, not knowing myself, not knowing what was moving, just a sense of awareness, presence, and movement or flow, which became stronger as I went further into the fold. A sense of newness of reality, not just the pose—that all of reality was an unknown mystery, with wonder and openness and a deepening sense of embodied but expansive presence that was filled with white light and colour. It’s a little scary to be that open to not knowing, that open to each moment. “Everything is just a flashing into the vast phenomenal world.” (p. 94)

During this time I did a phone inquiry with my regular inquiry partner and the openness of not knowing was something we explored during our dialectic inquiry. This led to an experience of reality that was totally unfamiliar. The field was a golden amber-orange, reflecting our valuing of each other and of working together, with merging gold, and I could see this in the room I was in. As I invited the inquiry to not know what this was and find out more, my mind was completely gone, no conceptual awareness at all, just complete freedom into something new I had never experienced before. Bringing my thinking mind to the experience in order to describe it, there was a sense of vastness but without a sense of spatial dimension, and absolute cessation of self and concepts, but still with awareness. So free! So that is one example of how the book engaged my inquiry. Overall, the book brought a new sense of curiosity and interest to my inquiry, to see what is fresh in each moment, what will it be this time!? Fresh air into the staleness.

The book also had a big impact on my meditation practice. Suzuki said zazen is enlightenment. The act of sitting is all that’s needed, all there is. This freed me from superego judgement about my practice and striving for it to be a certain way. “Sit without any gaining idea.” (p. 26) Also the instruction to press my diaphragm down towards the hara (p. 8) or kath, to gain strength in my posture—this was a new instruction that I have found very helpful for landing in the kath.

If you’ve never read ZMBM, I envy you, for you still have the option of your own fresh discovery ahead of you! How will Suzuki’s mind impact your mind?

B. van der Kolk on new advances in trauma treatment

I am currently studying massage at Esalen, and was fortunate to have the chance to hear Bessel van der Kolk speak on new advances in trauma treatment. Here is a summary of some of the ideas he discussed.

Bessel began his talk by making the point that people have been indifferent to the people who suffer trauma at least since the 1500s when Pieter Brueghel the Elder painted Landscape with the Fall of Icarus, and those around to witness the spectacular event went about their business and let the boy drown. He then discussed the US government’s prioritization of trauma that is worth treating. 2.5 million children are physically abused in the US each year. Changing this would require ensuring everyone has enough food and a home to feel safe in, yet the food stamp program was just revoked by congress. Conversely, there was $83 million in funding offered to help the families of the 3 people who were killed by the Boston marathon bombings.

He described the body’s fight, flight, or freeze response to trauma, and said that few of the 911 witnesses who could run over the bridge to the safety of home suffered Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). A boy who witnessed people jumping out of the towers to their death found the imagination to think of a solution for the future (a trampoline) while President Bush froze for 17 minutes. So being able to run or otherwise work off the adrenaline response to a dangerous situation, having a home to go to, and having people to take care of oneself until able to function again are all factors that help prevent PTSD in response to trauma. It is also helpful if someone takes charge who seems to know what they are doing—this is reassuring. Being able to speak about the trauma is the first requirement, so those suffering from secret trauma (physical or sexual abuse at home, molestation, rape, and soldiers) don’t get the help they need—a survivor can’t deal with trauma until someone is willing to listen. Survivors also must be able to cultivate their imagination in order to heal, for example by imagining an alternate outcome.

The survivors of 911 said these were the most effective ways to treat trauma, in order: acupuncture (1), massage, yoga, and EMDR (4). EMDR has been studied the most, and yoga is also an evidence-based treatment. Massage has not been studied, nor has acupuncture. But the officials in charge of funding wanted to fund psychoanalysis and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as treatment modalities for the survivors. Yet during a traumatic event, the frontal lobe shuts down and the limbic brain takes over. So psychoanalysis and CBT are not effective at treating trauma—cognitive understanding has no pathways to the emotional system. But no one is doing limbic system therapy. (He did not mention all the somatic modalities of trauma-treatment therapy that are out there, such as somatic experiencing. And actually EMDR is somatic as well.) Bessel said Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is very effective for treating chronic trauma, while EMDR is effective for single events. Neurofeedback is a new trauma-treatment method that changes how the brain processes information. It involves expensive equipment and is mechanical. The Boston school system is experimenting with theatre for traumatized kids; taking a different role than the person they usually feel like has been very effective for some children.

People who have PTSD can be triggered by the most innocuous event that others would not find traumatic at all. For example, being touched during child’s pose in a yoga class could re-trigger a traumatic event. Those with PTSD perceive the world as a dangerous place. The brain is actually changed by chronic danger, so that the survivor can’t accurately perceive what is going on in the present. The brain waves produced from different parts of the brain in response to stimulus are altered. The chronic arousal (hyperalertness) caused by PTSD also reduces the body’s immune system’s ability to fight disease. They need to find ways to calm their bodies and reclaim ownership of their bodies. Feldenkrais can help people feel safe some of the time. Yoga is as helpful as most psychological treatments; people with PTSD feel uncomfortable in their bodies, and a trauma-sensitive yoga class can help people learn to feel a sense of safety and ownership (control) of their bodies, and connection to their breath is calming. Massage can be boundary-violating, but if it is gentle, thoughtful, and responsive to the client’s agreement of where they can be touched, it can be very powerful. People are not healed from PTSD until they can be safely touched.

Bessel’s new book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, will be coming out in June 2014. It describes the impact of trauma on brain chemistry, and the studies that have been done with neurofeedback, in greater detail.

2014 writing and programs at BC Wilderness Visions

With the sale of Monkey Valley in 2013, I have contemplated what to do about this blog and the nature programs I like to offer, such as the vision fast, medicine walk, yoga in nature, and other ideas that are percolating in my mind.

This year I will offer my favourite do-it-yourself type of nature program, the medicine walk, with a teaching on the nature psychology of four directions. I am excited to be offering this program again. The 2011 day trip to the North Shore mountains was a day I still remember with gladness. I hope that you will decide to join me on this year’s adventure! See the Programs page for details.

I love writing for this blog. Perhaps it’s selfish of me, because it’s like a Natalie Goldberg Writing Down the Bones homework assignment. I just write what I feel like writing, when I feel like it. I don’t pay too much attention to grammar, given the informal nature of this genre, though I do like to make sure the spelling is right! One or two of the serial stories I’ve written here have been published in other places. And even some of the photos. So it’s a fertile ground for a writer. But mostly it’s just fun.

Now and then a reader discovers the site and enjoys browsing through some of the bizarre things I’ve written over the years. And once in a while what I’ve written strikes a chord and provides support on someone’s journey through life. That is what really makes this blog worthwhile. Like the recent comment from Hannah about her spiritual experience with cougars.

So I guess I’ll just keep writing about whatever strikes my fancy, loosely following the theme of nature spirituality. Stay tuned!

Winter solstice blessings

Turning now to winter time in Vancouver, and the turning of the year and the planet, let’s take a look at the splendid Vancouver beauty after our second snowfall of the winter. Oh, actually, they were both in the fall! For today is the first day of winter! But the snow doesn’t care about the date. And it has covered Vancouver in a soft white blanket. Too bad it will be all gone by Christmas! So often the way here in Vancouver!

I will be heading up to William’s Lake for Christmas, so I will get to enjoy a white Christmas anyway. And it is truly a miracle, but I have already purchased and wrapped all the little gifties that Santa’s going to bring on my behalf this year. Sweet!

As I look at the year behind, it was a year of many gifts and blessings. I sold Monkey Valley, which was a tremendous blessing, especially because it brought so many wonders to the new owners, and they are caring for the land so beautifully. I also had many career blessings, with five wonderful clients, and three of them repeat clients!! That is an abundance of joy! And a lot of hard work, too… But I did manage to take two months off, and go on the vision fast. As well as two Diamond Approach retreats, and my Vancouver DA group met 3 times. I had my share of struggles and painful learnings this year as well, including the fight with Treo. In the end they gave me four free toll crossings! The year concludes with a feeling of connecting to my people around the world with a clear golden light, while held in the velvety black mystery, so strong at this time of year.

May all beings be happy on this winter solstice. And special blessings to our dear earth.